Victory is Boring
by thumos
Summary: ... because there really is nothing to do when life goes back to normal after such a long journey and when everyone still treats you like the delicate flower you used to be.


You're home. Your sister, whom you've tried so hard to save, is there with you. You're now Mrs. Villiers, the happy wife of Snow Villiers, one of the world's saviors (you preen at the fact that he saved the world in the first place because of you). All your friends are there with you in New Bodhum. Even Noel and Yeul, who've both decided to stay in your time after your journey. Fang and Vanille are back too, and Hope, now an awkward, gangly teenager of seventeen years old instead of a proud adult or a pubescent boy, couldn't be happier. Everything is as it should be…

… except it _isn't_. Maybe it's because you've gotten so used to life on the run. Maybe it's because your journey has changed you (for better or worse, you still can't tell). Either way, you're _bored_. For some odd, inexplicable reason, the things that used to provide you seemingly endless entertainment now seem mundane and useless. You don't get the same warm, fuzzy feeling from teaching the children anymore, and you can no longer read about fictional adventures without constantly comparing them to your own or scoffing at how unrealistic and idealistic they are.

And then you remind yourself that they're just _fiction_. _Make believe_. What you faced was reality, so those stories _obviously_ couldn't even hope to compare…

And the way people act around you is slowly driving you up the wall. Even though you saved the world _too_ (not just the world – all of time and space!), everyone still treats you like a fragile, delicate flower. Something to be protected. But just because you don't have Mog at your side anymore, that doesn't mean you're useless. You can stand on your own two feet. You can fight too. You have the muscle and the speed and the stamina to prove it.

Being cooped up at home is hard too. Home, what you so desperately wanted throughout your journey, disgusts you now. You want to travel into the future, take a look at Academia in 400 AF, visit Oerba in the distant past, travel to any time but 3 AF. But you can't, because the gates are all gone. You wonder how Noel can handle it, but then you remember that now that Yeul is back in his life and isn't going to die anytime soon, he's happy. The two are a "disgustingly cute couple" as Lebreau says (funny, because she said the same exact thing about you and Snow back when you first started dating, but then Noel and Yeul are around the same age as you two were back then, so you really have no right to complain), and they spend every moment of every day together, just admiring what you think are normal, everyday things. Sometimes, you wish you could be like them.

Surprisingly (or, really, unsurprisingly), it's a small, seemingly inconsequential comment from Snow that drives you over the edge. Something about the monsters coming a little too close to New Bodhum for comfort, and his usual hero speech about how he's going to protect you. And then you snap. You rant, you rave, you scream your lungs out at him, and you don't stop until your voice starts becoming hoarse. And when you're done, he just laughs, and you're so mad, you want to hurt him – _physically_ hurt him – so you step out of the house to calm down.

You want to talk to someone – _anyone_ – who could possibly understand what you're going through right now. Lightning and Fang won't be of any help whatsoever; at least _they _still get some action. Sazh never wanted an adventure in the first place, so he's out. Noel and Yeul are out for obvious reasons, and you still feel awkward around teenaged Hope. So that leaves Vanille. You're not sure how much help she can be, but you seek her out anyway.

You find her sitting alone at the docks, swirling the water beneath her with her bare feet. She smiles brightly when you approach her, and you're grateful that she's so easy to talk to. "Hey, Serah!" she greets cheerfully, patting the spot next to her for you to sit down. You sit down and hug your knees to your chest, and then, without even filtering your thoughts, you tell her everything that's been bothering you since things went back to normal. "I completely understand, you know," she says. "The whole being protected thing. Fang still thinks I can't do a thing on my own, even though I was there with her the whole time we were saving Cocoon. Sometimes, she makes me wish I never woke up from that crystal sleep."

"I just feel so selfish," you admit. "It's like… It's like some of my students. No matter how much you try to please them, they're never satisfied. I'm turning into… _that_."

"No you're not!" Vanille cries as she links pinkies with you. "You're… You're _Serah_. Everyone loves you! I'm sure there are a lot of people who are willing to die for you. But that's the thing – everyone's so used to protecting you and keeping you safe, they don't know any different. Take Snow, for example. You were his reason for fighting – you still are! Just because you don't really need his protection anymore doesn't mean he'll ever stop feeling that way about you." She stands up and stretches her arms, sighing contentedly. "But that's what love is, right? Doing everything in your power for the people you love, making them happy and keeping them safe. So, maybe you could try fighting alongside him… protecting _him_, you know?"

You stand up and dust your skirt off, and something clicks in your mind. "Yeah… you're right!"

"And normal life _does_ get pretty boring after all these exciting adventures," Vanille continues. "There's not much you can do about it. But what you _can_ do to make life a little more enjoyable is to enjoy the little things, you know? Like Noel. He's been fighting his entire life, and yet he's still happy here, doing nothing compared to what he was doing before."

"Yeah…" you agree. "Thanks, Vanille."

"Anytime!" she replies, smiling brightly. "You might want to head back and apologize to Snow, though."

And, for the first time since you've returned from your journey, you're truly content.


End file.
